Life is magnificent and awesome, and I no longer find any meaning in it. The meaningful stories that I lived my life by simply fell away in October 2008: stories of karmic connection, purpose in life, value of prayer; comparison stories of smarter or dumber; stories of spiritual growth to be achieved, the need for an altar, the value of practices–all of it, gone.
Now this, I guess. Only this. I find myself simply living life as it shows up–and often it does offer startling surprises. But there is some flatness about it–just to be noticed I suppose, with an attitude of “and this too.” I see there is mild resistance; perhaps I’ll get used to the flatter terrain.
© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2012