worry is prayer for what you don’t want —unknown author
wish I’d slipped this in my pocket decades ago— a truth to carry, rub and smooth a different kind of wonder stone
so self-evident yet it evaded me all I need to do is notice troubled thoughts and shift away look for springtime poppies, cheerful in the breeze or iris buds unfurling
by the time we finish a thought, the beginning is already gone the thought train lags behind experience it’s just the way of things
why do I trust that train instead of the pure, bright unfolding moment? why not allow my internal yammering to drop behind, an insignificant background
thoughts are not primary— experience is, fresh and alive my opinions, reflections and wonderings are the cleanup crew— maybe useful, maybe not but that thought party’s over
offer hot chocolate give thanks for their service and send them on their way
What a tangled web we weave when we believe our own thoughts. —Koshin Paley Ellison
thoughts, the root of my sometime troubles— not any old thought, the perseverating-nagging won’t-leave-me-alone in the middle-of-the-night
those thoughts
they fly into the future rather than dive into the past haunting, persuasive, mind wolves intent on the takedown they ravage my peace hide in the dark waiting for my body to relax toward sleep then invent nightmare scenarios
like any wise parent with love, I set boundaries no pacing about or gathering in packs for you, no lurking near the midnight fire you’re welcome in the daytime if you face me straight on meet my gaze have an honest conversation otherwise, be gone
is this the path of love? I ask many times a day I note disquiet rooted in my mind
I catch myself and remember to re-rout out of spinning thoughts that hook me where I have no agency autocrats and climate, wars and simple meanness that I see play out each day
is this the path of love? the memo for my mind re-orients, re-centers reminds what’s true and good and kind it brings me now it brings me here the only place to be