Category Archives: Silence

is it a barren nothing?

black eye galaxyIs it a barren nothing? So fun when deconstruction has to begin with the first five words: “It” is not an it, but we call it that in order to use words at all. Otherwise, it would be necessary to remain silent.

Both my husband and I went through a period we now call “the bardos.” In 2008, meaning in our lives fell away, and life felt very flat. Barren. Even unappealing. I no longer understood how to live, and was afraid that life would be boring, or uninteresting.

Ha! Not the case, and the bardos turned out to be a phase that lasted a couple of months. Life’s vitality returned–on its own terms! Now life lives–and it’s engaging, challenging–all that it was before, except it has no meaning, and I’m absolutely clear that I have no control at all. It’s all one big life unfolding–beautifully, horribly, confusingly, touchingly.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
photo credit: NASA’s incredible archives

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Filed under Advaita, Dzogchen, Musings, Non-duality, Silence, spirituality, stories, thoughts, Truth

no more escaping

no more escapingMost peoples’ waking hours are spent trying to escape what is going on right now.

She’s impatient with her husband’s snoring; he wishes she wouldn’t leave water on the bathroom floor. We’re irritated because the boss walks by too often to check what’s on our monitor, or the weather is too chilly, or too humid. Or perhaps we are simply wishing that our vacation would begin, that our back would stop hurting, or that our bellies were flatter.

If we’re human, we’ve wished for life to be other than it is. Sometimes our desire to escape what is happening is subtle, but often, it is blatantly obvious.

Notice that what is happening right now is the unstoppable birthing of life, and because it is here–already–it is not escapeable. Wishing it were otherwise is the main way that we torture ourselves. Perhaps what is opening in our lives is painful. Welcome it–because it is what it is–and if the pull is there to make change, and change is possible, do so.

I remember right after my father collapsed and died of a massive heart attack, I had the urgent desire for time to stop–to somehow honor the moment, and give us a breath to adjust. But the next moment descended, and the next… and soon it had been two days since his death, and then two weeks, two years, two decades. A vast coming and going, this journey, all within the spacious aliveness of awaring.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
photo credit

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words!

river sunriseAh, the blessing and curse of beloved words. Yesterday, I said “return home to what I am.” Chuckling as I reread that now, because there is no leaving home, ever. It’s not possible.

Yet somehow, the busyness made it feel as though I’d been somewhere–and awaring sipping silence felt like a return. Feelings are as insubstantial and impermanent as thoughts. Not to demean either–love them, too–simply to notice.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
photo credit

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busyness

busyness-is-a-trapSome days are simply too busy. I see that my husband and I set this up, and overbooked this weekend. I did find time for a short nap today.

And this evening, I sip silence in the spaces between words–return home to what I am in those tiny, spacious moments.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
photo credit

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weekly photo challenge: solitary

 

For WordPress’s weekly photo challenge. I’ve used this photo before, but I find it evocative of “solitary.” I snapped it on Heidi’s eleventh birthday–a venerable age for a Scottish deerhound. She lives with my friend Carol.

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