Tag Archives: embodying realization

here

empty rowboat amidst cloudsI sit in the emergency room with my son, who is having an unpleasant drug interaction. He is pacing, sweating, agitated, and uncomfortable. Because the small hospital in our town closed, the hospitals in nearby Santa Rosa are overloaded, and the emergency room is hopping with activity. Group after group are taken before my son because their condition is more serious. So it is, and should be, with triage.

One man with a shaved head is angry and in pain. He is covered in tattoos–including his skull–tattoos that suggest prejudice or a gang. He feels he is not being treated properly, and works to enlist my sympathy. I listen to his plight. The skin over his collarbone, he shows me, is stapled together, a rough eight inch incision. I wonder why they did not take the time to suture the wound. Finally, the security guy asks him to leave. He stomps out the double doors. The mind hopes he will not return with a gun.

Another elderly, toothless man rocks in a wheelchair. He mutters steadily, whining and calling for help, but he is difficult to understand. He tries to shift himself from his wheelchair to a regular waiting room chair; he is shaky and unsteady, and my son is convinced he will suffer a fatal fall. We report this to the front desk. The medical staff wants to ignore him, but of course they cannot. Eventually two burly security guards and a nurse move him to an inner room, and for a few minutes, the waiting room is quiet.

An infant, who cannot be older than a week, is taken to be examined quickly. Both of us are relieved.

I notice that I am here, now. Often “here” feels localized, but it dawns on me tonight that in the absence of the mind’s pattern of believing in time and space, here and now are infinite and eternal. I rest in that.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014
photo credit: Panhala Poetry

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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality

surfing the curl

Big Wave SurfingMy friend William emailed me the link to a seven minute video. His email had no note. He only sends what he feels has value, so, with curiosity, I clicked.

There I was, peering inside the curl of giant surf that hit our West Coast last week. The wave was massive—a literal thirty foot wall of water. Then, out of the violent, still center, surfed a man, riding the immensity of the curl. Wholly in the present, a slip-up away from serious injury or death, he balanced, flexing with the water’s movement, as the wave’s curl traveled.

In slow motion, his balance shifts, and the board slips out from under him. He’s caught in the Maytagging motion.

The video rides another monstrous wave, and another surfer emerges from its unimaginable depths. So much speed, yet somehow motionless, he is caught in the womb of the giant. Until, yet again, he loses that split second balance and goes down.

We all surf the wall of water called life—some of us with fine balance, some with clumsy attempts. Life seems oversized, outscaled; we appear minuscule in its grip. Apparently all there is to do is grab our boards again, wait for the precise time, launch into the vortex, and surrender.

All day, as events unfolded, some easy, some more challenging, I murmured “Surf, girl, surf!”—and found my balance inside the wave.

Wave and woman, life and woman, not two.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014
photo credit
PS Do not miss the video! Carve out seven minutes as a gift to yourself.

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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality, Surrender

summer evening notes to self

The final light of the day has lit up two trees in the far distance–one a palm, the other a flowering I-don’t-know-what. My heart unites with beauty.

Just as quickly, the splendid light fades.

The eternal everchanging.

To hang onto even one breath, one moment, one slantwise burst of evening light, is to suffer.

Best not to resist–love while it’s here. With the same love, release it freely. The same two trees, now illuminated with a soft gray post-sunset light.

Enthralling.

The mind wants to say “differently enthralling” or “just as enthralling.” What the mind does: slicing, comparing, judging, dicing, evaluating, choosing, rejecting–is required for negotiating some aspects of life. Notice it is always late–it takes ownership and comments after the moment.

When the mind is not required, set it down and rest here.

Rest knowingly.

Behind the palm, against the quiet gray, emerges the lightest dusting of pink. Here, and then gone.

Dusk settles.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014

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why oh why oh why?

windblown-leafWe can get hooked on needing to know why. It’s a part of the mind’s final stand, and thought just doesn’t want to let it go.

“But why,” we ask, “does awareness allow itself to be veiled?”

The mind wants to know, and can get lost in creating scenarios, such as “awareness wanted an other to experience love.”

It’s a nice story. If this satisfies something for you, that’s fine, too. It soothed something in me for decades.

“Why” questions have no answers, and engaging with these questions re-activates our already overactive minds. Allow the very thought of “why” to be the reminder to relax. Be happy feeling the “why”–no need to reject it. Allow the wind to sail it away.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014
photo credit

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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality, stories

empty-minded and open-hearted

doorwayEmpty-minded and open-hearted–what a lovely way to live.

After harvesting, fields are planted with crops intended for nourishing the ground. The vegetation is turned under and replenishes the soil. The field lies fallow and rests until replanting.

When the mental task at hand is done, we can allow the mind to lie fallow while we rest in the metaphorical heart–in our native state of being.

Leave the mind alone until it is needed for a fresh batch of practical matters. Its allure is very, very strong. I remind myself: leave it alone.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014
photo credit

 

 

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abidance

NoMindI used to live in the mind–there I worried, imagined, invented, played, and explored.

I went to the mind because that is what I was taught as a child: my parents revered the mind’s capacity and honored little else, including the heart, where I natively lived. Dutifully–in order to earn parental acceptance–I closed off my feeling capacity and took up residence in thought. As a survival tactic, it worked, although I didn’t grasp the price. Mind is so very, very small, and  always lags behind the present–the placeless place of reality.

I entered my sixth decade before seeing that I spent 99% of my time in the mind world. It took time to understand the addictive allure and, in loosening its shackles, to uncover delicious, ever-present abidance in that which is. Here and now. No mind required.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014
image credit

 

 

 

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deer consciousness

Velvet_Buck_1The buck with four-point velvet antlers paused to peer in the window. His limpid eyes met mine; I met myself in his gaze.

Pure awaring.

For long moments, union.

Then, cautious and watchful, ever aware of his surroundings, he moved on.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014
photo credit

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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality, spirituality