Tag Archives: direct experience

bedtime epiphany

molded-ear-plugsMy husband snores lightly, and it seems to start about a half hour after I go to bed. It’s unexpected, and uneven. I can’t fall asleep.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked my audiologist to make me a pair of molded ear plugs. He stuck a small cotton wad attached to a thread into each ear, then injected soft material that hardens in five minutes–red for the right ear, blue for the left. In fifteen minutes, I left his office delighted, earplugs in hand.

I headed to bed that night looking forward to trying them out, sure they would make a huge difference.

Here’s what I learned: even fitted to my specific ears, plugs block very little, because ears hear. That’s what they do; that is their nature, whether we are awake or asleep.

In the same way, consciousness is always awake. That’s its nature. Our bodies may be in deep sleep, but awareness–which is unlocated–remains ever-present, eternal and infinite.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders

what is this?

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - AUGUST 16: Abbey D'Agostino of the United States (R) is assisted by Nikki Hamblin of New Zealand after a collision during the Women's 5000m Round 1 - Heat 2 on Day 11 of the Rio 2016 Olympic Games at the Olympic Stadium on August 16, 2016 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)

What is this?
This outrageous, ever-unfolding display:
decapitations, orgasms, bombastic politicians,
premature babies born with everything wrong, struggling to breathe.
Grannies rock them back to life.

Two runners fall, one tears her knee.
The other, a competitor, eases her up–
forgoes the race, and trots beside the hobbling athlete.
They cross the finish line together, dead last.
Now friends for life.

Prior to this erupting chaos,
prior–but not in time–
is the ineffable:
empty of things,
but full of possibility.

Rest there–or better said,
rest here
in this ground of being
and, still resting,
join the show.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2017
image credit: Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, Dzogchen, Musings

peeling the onion

Peeling the onion—
after the center is stripped away, what is left?
Nothing
I find no thing
Only perfume of the one taste

 

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016
image credit

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Dorothy Hunt’s poem

THIS is here before seeking
THIS is here before awakening
THIS is here after awakening
THIS is here without words
THIS is here with words.
Only THIS that is awake, aware,
pure, naked, unstained, indivisible,
and perfectly Whole.

~ by Dorothy Hunt (Continuous awakening)

(from The SAND Conference weekly newsletter)

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Filed under Awakening, Non-duality

one small thing – unedited free write

[We were given the prompt, “one small thing.”]

one small thing
just look slantwise
for a moment
it can happen that fast–
without warning,
the apparent world turns inside out
a Mobius strip
and no thing remains the same

one small shift
a spiral in fate
unforeseen and blindsiding
yet asked for, too
all known falls away
concepts, beliefs, assurity,
all gone,
never to return

one small twist
and, what now? how shall you live?
can you welcome no meaning
and love what comes?
wild paradox lacks any frame
when you think about it, too vast to hold
so don’t. don’t think about it,
you’ve gone down that torturous trail ten thousand times

one small turn
invited, yet unexpected
sought after, yet surprised
and the world erupts as a one-song-uni-verse

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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Filed under Advaita, Awakening, Poetry, thoughts

hot tub epiphany–parenting

Iman big eyesThe price of manifestation in this one-song-uni-verse is a wild, open, chaotic stew, where every thing and all things erupt.

The suffering my adult son is experiencing–all mothers carry this: “the mother gene,” with a scouring empathy for our offspring. If we allow, it burnishes us empty.

I bear suffering differently, now–as everymother, shouldering this particular flavor of stew.

It is not personal.

The only way, is through. All that is required is noticing, which by its very nature, is infinitely compassionate and eternally loving. No longer diving into the painful soup with him does not make me a bad mother. I’m a better mother for not doing so. I’m here, available, filled with love for my son-who-is my-very-own-self.

He knows my cell number.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016
I took this snapshot about forty years ago.

 

 

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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, parenting, Surrender

self-abandonment, a hot tub epiphany

While soaking last night, I considered a comment my counselor made to me around five years ago. She said, “Don’t abandon yourself.” This has been a bit of a koan for me, and I’ve returned and considered her statement many times.

Now I understand the deeper meaning. Nicole wasn’t speaking of everyday self-abandonment, where we treat ourselves badly, or allow others to do so–neither of those was occurring. It was far more subtle than that. She was pointing to Self-abandonment, with a capital S–getting so caught up in worldly challenges and chaos that Awareness, the ground of being available to each of us in every moment, is apparently veiled and neglected.

Today, while carrying deep concern for my son, I’ve remained with the source, too–tangible, yet without qualities. Right here, right now.

Thank you Nicole!

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality

Be That

Be That

Be that
in which it all takes place

Let background
slip into foreground.

Rest there.

It’s available
Now and here
For you, for me.

 

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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addiction

hoarding cookiesThirty years ago, I used to be what I thought of as an “addictive personality.” I was addicted to trying to make myself feel better: through love, seeking belonging, and even regular marijuana use–to smooth the jagged edges I perceived in life.

I benefited from twelve step programs, eliminated the most destructive substances, and learned to manage more minor tendencies. For example, I ate mint chocolate chip ice cream in a tiny bowl–perhaps a quarter cup. My agreement with myself was if I couldn’t limit my portion to that, I couldn’t have mint chocolate chip ice cream in my house.

But I knew I had not found, nor addressed, the root cause of my wanting.

Fast forward thirty years. I was addicted to trying to alter my experience. I would never suggest this is true of anyone else, or even imply that my understanding would, or should work for them. But as I stopped trying to change what is, and not only surrendered to the heart of my experience, but have been willing to bring it closer rather than push it away, any sense of addictive pull has dissolved.

I am deeply grateful.

© Amrita Skye Blaine
image credit

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Filed under addiction, Awakening, feelings, Surrender

“don’t touch them”

rupert spira 1I’ve heard Rupert Spira speak many times about troublesome feelings, and he’ll recommend “don’t touch them.” Today, I finally asked him to clarify what he means.

He suggests turning toward them, rather than away, but not to get involved–don’t manipulate or manage or try to change them. Instead, be very curious, and notice what sensations underlie the feelings. Befriend these until we are willing to have them be with us forever. This morning, in a guided meditation, we brought feelings so close they no longer had name or form.

However, if they are too painful or scary, one can work with them gradually. Bring them closer, and sit with that. If the experience gets too intense, perhaps back off until the next day. Each time we invite them close, we dissolve some of the apparent power they have to pull us into story, separation, and suffering.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
image credit

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, feelings, Non-duality