I’ve waited to write about this hot tub epiphany for a few weeks–I wanted to make sure that what I saw held up under life’s pressures.
One of my main patterns has been tormenting thoughts–the creation of nightmare scenarios that might possibly come to pass. Best to be prepared, thought says, in a confident, insinuating tone.
Rather than follow thought-trains, I’ve learned to inquire into them. This particular evening–as I soaked and stared at the stars, and as usual, worried about this and that–the question arose, why would thought torture a body-mind? The answer came immediately, like a typewriter print out: so the imaginary sense of separation can perpetuate itself. This thought had never occurred to me before, and I knew it spoke the truth. The implications are immense–once seen, truth like this cannot be un-seen.
The next nightmare thought that arose was met with NO! I will not bolster your fictitious self-importance by believing, or even following, this train. Instead, I returned light attention to the current sensations of hot water and cool evening air, and the thought died its own natural death.
This is the new pattern: I can’t control thoughts arising, but I can welcome and immediately discredit them. And come back home to right now, the safest place of all.
© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013