Tag Archives: awareness

Dorothy Hunt’s poem

THIS is here before seeking
THIS is here before awakening
THIS is here after awakening
THIS is here without words
THIS is here with words.
Only THIS that is awake, aware,
pure, naked, unstained, indivisible,
and perfectly Whole.

~ by Dorothy Hunt (Continuous awakening)

(from The SAND Conference weekly newsletter)

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Filed under Awakening, Non-duality

hot tub epiphany–parenting

Iman big eyesThe price of manifestation in this one-song-uni-verse is a wild, open, chaotic stew, where every thing and all things erupt.

The suffering my adult son is experiencing–all mothers carry this: “the mother gene,” with a scouring empathy for our offspring. If we allow, it burnishes us empty.

I bear suffering differently, now–as everymother, shouldering this particular flavor of stew.

It is not personal.

The only way, is through. All that is required is noticing, which by its very nature, is infinitely compassionate and eternally loving. No longer diving into the painful soup with him does not make me a bad mother. I’m a better mother for not doing so. I’m here, available, filled with love for my son-who-is my-very-own-self.

He knows my cell number.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016
I took this snapshot about forty years ago.

 

 

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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, parenting, Surrender

self-abandonment, a hot tub epiphany

While soaking last night, I considered a comment my counselor made to me around five years ago. She said, “Don’t abandon yourself.” This has been a bit of a koan for me, and I’ve returned and considered her statement many times.

Now I understand the deeper meaning. Nicole wasn’t speaking of everyday self-abandonment, where we treat ourselves badly, or allow others to do so–neither of those was occurring. It was far more subtle than that. She was pointing to Self-abandonment, with a capital S–getting so caught up in worldly challenges and chaos that Awareness, the ground of being available to each of us in every moment, is apparently veiled and neglected.

Today, while carrying deep concern for my son, I’ve remained with the source, too–tangible, yet without qualities. Right here, right now.

Thank you Nicole!

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality

Be That

Be That

Be that
in which it all takes place

Let background
slip into foreground.

Rest there.

It’s available
Now and here
For you, for me.

 

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality

addiction

hoarding cookiesThirty years ago, I used to be what I thought of as an “addictive personality.” I was addicted to trying to make myself feel better: through love, seeking belonging, and even regular marijuana use–to smooth the jagged edges I perceived in life.

I benefited from twelve step programs, eliminated the most destructive substances, and learned to manage more minor tendencies. For example, I ate mint chocolate chip ice cream in a tiny bowl–perhaps a quarter cup. My agreement with myself was if I couldn’t limit my portion to that, I couldn’t have mint chocolate chip ice cream in my house.

But I knew I had not found, nor addressed, the root cause of my wanting.

Fast forward thirty years. I was addicted to trying to alter my experience. I would never suggest this is true of anyone else, or even imply that my understanding would, or should work for them. But as I stopped trying to change what is, and not only surrendered to the heart of my experience, but have been willing to bring it closer rather than push it away, any sense of addictive pull has dissolved.

I am deeply grateful.

© Amrita Skye Blaine
image credit

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Filed under addiction, Awakening, feelings, Surrender

“don’t touch them”

rupert spira 1I’ve heard Rupert Spira speak many times about troublesome feelings, and he’ll recommend “don’t touch them.” Today, I finally asked him to clarify what he means.

He suggests turning toward them, rather than away, but not to get involved–don’t manipulate or manage or try to change them. Instead, be very curious, and notice what sensations underlie the feelings. Befriend these until we are willing to have them be with us forever. This morning, in a guided meditation, we brought feelings so close they no longer had name or form.

However, if they are too painful or scary, one can work with them gradually. Bring them closer, and sit with that. If the experience gets too intense, perhaps back off until the next day. Each time we invite them close, we dissolve some of the apparent power they have to pull us into story, separation, and suffering.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
image credit

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, feelings, Non-duality

touchstone – take two

All my life, I’ve hungered for a touchstone–something reliable, constant, steady. Something that would not come and go.

The moment in September 2009 that I turned around–in a metaphorical sense–and took note of the unchangeable aspect of what I am, my experience rearranged. The moment itself was quiet, and the shift seemed almost imperceptible. Although I was alone at the time, I spoke my response out loud: “Really?”

At first the aftermath took the form of the tiniest aftershocks. About nine months later, the big one hit. The whole house of cards that people knew as Amrita collapsed. This was not easy, either for me nor those closest to me. Most of the cards simply blew away, never to be found again. A couple of cards remained, but not to be re-constructed into a house. They float on groundlessness.

Now I add other words to describe this touchstone: Eternal, Infinite. Peaceful. And this touchstone is forever “with” me–I simply hadn’t noticed. I can’t offer an image as a representation like I usually do with blogs, because it is not a “thing.” It has no objective qualities. It is unfindable–one cannot even turn toward it, because it is too close. Closer than close. Yet it-that-isn’t-an-it is knowable. Be-able.

© Amrita Skye Blaine 2015

 

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Filed under Awakening, memoir, Musings, Non-duality