Category Archives: Non-duality

self-abandonment, a hot tub epiphany

While soaking last night, I considered a comment my counselor made to me around five years ago. She said, “Don’t abandon yourself.” This has been a bit of a koan for me, and I’ve returned and considered her statement many times.

Now I understand the deeper meaning. Nicole wasn’t speaking of everyday self-abandonment, where we treat ourselves badly, or allow others to do so–neither of those was occurring. It was far more subtle than that. She was pointing to Self-abandonment, with a capital S–getting so caught up in worldly challenges and chaos that Awareness, the ground of being available to each of us in every moment, is apparently veiled and neglected.

Today, while carrying deep concern for my son, I’ve remained with the source, too–tangible, yet without qualities. Right here, right now.

Thank you Nicole!

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality

Be That

Be That

Be that
in which it all takes place

Let background
slip into foreground.

Rest there.

It’s available
Now and here
For you, for me.

 

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2016

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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality

“don’t touch them”

rupert spira 1I’ve heard Rupert Spira speak many times about troublesome feelings, and he’ll recommend “don’t touch them.” Today, I finally asked him to clarify what he means.

He suggests turning toward them, rather than away, but not to get involved–don’t manipulate or manage or try to change them. Instead, be very curious, and notice what sensations underlie the feelings. Befriend these until we are willing to have them be with us forever. This morning, in a guided meditation, we brought feelings so close they no longer had name or form.

However, if they are too painful or scary, one can work with them gradually. Bring them closer, and sit with that. If the experience gets too intense, perhaps back off until the next day. Each time we invite them close, we dissolve some of the apparent power they have to pull us into story, separation, and suffering.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
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Filed under Awakening, Daily reminders, feelings, Non-duality

touchstone – take two

All my life, I’ve hungered for a touchstone–something reliable, constant, steady. Something that would not come and go.

The moment in September 2009 that I turned around–in a metaphorical sense–and took note of the unchangeable aspect of what I am, my experience rearranged. The moment itself was quiet, and the shift seemed almost imperceptible. Although I was alone at the time, I spoke my response out loud: “Really?”

At first the aftermath took the form of the tiniest aftershocks. About nine months later, the big one hit. The whole house of cards that people knew as Amrita collapsed. This was not easy, either for me nor those closest to me. Most of the cards simply blew away, never to be found again. A couple of cards remained, but not to be re-constructed into a house. They float on groundlessness.

Now I add other words to describe this touchstone: Eternal, Infinite. Peaceful. And this touchstone is forever “with” me–I simply hadn’t noticed. I can’t offer an image as a representation like I usually do with blogs, because it is not a “thing.” It has no objective qualities. It is unfindable–one cannot even turn toward it, because it is too close. Closer than close. Yet it-that-isn’t-an-it is knowable. Be-able.

© Amrita Skye Blaine 2015

 

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Filed under Awakening, memoir, Musings, Non-duality

mind game reminder

funny-crazy-mind-bunnies-clipartToday, surrounded by loving, awake friends, I was reminded of other ways to address the nattering nighttime mind.

The thoughts are precipitated by feelings. Sink into those. Welcome them, even if they are uncomfortable. Most likely, they are familiar friends who have been with me most of my life.

The feelings, when I place my attention on them, reveal themselves as simple bodily sensations. Notice these.

Allow pure awareness to seep into them, expanding and dissolving the remnants. Or invite them to soften and gradually disperse.

Rest in beingness.

Repeat again, again, again. Again.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality, thoughts

mind game

untamed mindLife is busy. I take moments during the day and rest in the truth of what I am. But the most available time is when I go to bed, and don’t go to sleep–aging insomnia—so I hang out simply being.

For a few blessed moments, quiet.

Then the mind starts rambling, babbling, screaming. The thoughts are annoying, repetitive, and without meaning. Obnoxious. At first I was sure the mind was getting louder. It dawned on me it has always been this loud, but as my appreciation and attraction to being grows, the noisy mind becomes more obvious.

The teaching says, “Leave thoughts alone. Don’t touch them.” Supposedly, if one leaves them alone enough, they lose strength. This is not my experience. They natter, natter, natter on. I do my best not to fiddle with them.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
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Filed under Daily reminders, mind, Musings, Non-duality, thoughts

eddies and whirlpools – redux

eddiesImagine—we’re floating down a gentle river in inner tubes on a blazing July afternoon. Our butts hang in the cool water, the tube surfaces are warm—growing hotter where the water does not splash on them—and the sun beats down on the exposed parts of our bodies.

Then, abruptly, a whirlpool catches your inner tube, and for a little bit, the tube is spun in place in the river, and you are seemingly separated from the main flow—then the whirlpool disperses, and off the ride goes again.

A while later, an eddy pulls my tube into a bend—a quiet nook in the river—and now I appear to be independent of the main flow. Then the eddy gives way, and the tube rocks a bit until the current grabs it and pulls me back into the main body of the river.

We are always one with the river, but seemingly separated at times. What a delicious metaphor for awareness and embodiment. Awareness is the river—always there, always alive and flowing. The whirlpools and eddies are embodiments—where for a little while, we show up on the planet; we look separate, we may feel separate, but we are never separated—or independent—for one instant from the grand flow that we are.

Then the body dissipates just like the eddy back into that from whence it came, and once again, only one awareness, one river.

Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
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Filed under Daily reminders, death, Musings, Non-duality, Truth

love waits – a poem

Love Waits

Love waits
patient, unseen, outside of time.
It cloaks as car accident,
chronic illness, or grief;
starry night, baby’s breath, or
first ripe raspberry in spring.

It is waiting,
waiting for you,
waiting for you to turn around,
to finally turn inside.

This love flows, wholly dependable,
unlike relationship, made of two:
at best, a luscious, rampant garden,
filled with surprise and hidden delight—
still—in all its fullness, a mere reflection,
temporary and time-bound for loss.

Love waits,
waits for you,
waits for you to turn around,
to finally turn inside.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015

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Filed under Awakening, Love, Non-duality, Poetry, writing

paradox

paradoxParadox: that’s what we’ve got. It’s not something unique that shows up on occasion, it’s the whole, wild, everyday display.

My relative offers deep insight into his friend’s abuse of his body, then drinks himself into a stupor, displaying no understanding of self-care.

The Texas floods sweep away this family, but not that one. The tornado slices through an Oklahoma town—half of it is pulverized, the other half remains untouched.

A terrorist group, in the name of their God, brutalizes children and sledge-hammers ancient sacred sites, while monks chant, meditate, and pray for the awakening of all beings.

Many people busy themselves with asking why.

I find all of it without meaning—the apparent good or the apparent bad. It’s just the phantasmagorical, endless, erupting Now.
The terrible, magnificent Now.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015

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the source of thoughts

thinker-clipart-thinking-person-hiIn our western culture, we assume that the source of thinking is the mind.

This was deeply embedded in my parents’ belief system, and passed along to me. It was an unquestioned assumption.

But how could this be? The so-called mind (which is a concept; I have never found a thing called “the mind,” have you?) is itself an apparent object. It is a thought; it cannot generate thought.

Thoughts bubble up in consciousness, like every other apparent thing that manifests. They arise in in it, and are made of it.

©Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
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Filed under Daily reminders, Musings, Non-duality