Category: loss

missed it

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn Awakening, Daily reminders, gratitude, heart, light, loss, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, Poetry4 Comments

missed it

I missed first light
stubbed off the watch
that rumbles me awake
nodded back asleep—
this day’s dawn
is gone
a minuscule thing
but a loss

a chiding whisper
lazybones
whose voice is that?
gone forty-five years
my father come to visit—
and this, his first dispatch?
then I remember
sticks and stones
can break your bones
but words
can never hurt you

useful, but not true
unless you construct
a fortress—
I whisper back
with the warmth
my heart holds,
I love you, too—
all this
from missing dawn

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

from darkness

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn awe, Breath, children, Daily reminders, light, loss, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, pain, paradox, parenting, PoetryLeave a comment

from darkness

as first light skims
the sky, I consider
how we birth
from dark

what a shock light
must be for the infant
as her mother finally
pushes her free

she is caught
by a stranger, then
cut from her source
with a snip of the cord

dark’s comfort vanished
warm sea washed away
where is her refuge now?
no wonder she cries

imagine bewilderment
as new systems begin
lungs fill and empty
for the very first time

she squints and blinks
in this startling world
filled with loud sounds
and smells and sights

as she lies skin to skin
stroked and soothed
by her mother’s first touch
a new passage

from darkness to light
and one into two

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

so much broken

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn Awakening, awe, Daily reminders, death, heart, loss, Love, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, Poetry, spirituality, suffering3 Comments

so much broken

bones here and there
my heart, many times
spirit, at least
one, two, three

is this the path of love?
this way
of brokenness
we greet each day?

life rent me
so I see the shape—
the disorder required
reveals the whole

an onyx crow picks
squirrel from the road
Cooper’s hawk nabs
crow—life’s wheel

the rabbit-gray dawn
signals rain,
branches bow
then break in rising wind

perfect symmetry—
be born from knowing
live out our lives
die into knowing

the gift that’s given—
we are shattered
in a hundred ways
and remade again

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

the tube

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn children, feelings, heart, loss, memoir, Musings, pain, parenting, suffering, Surrender4 Comments

the tube

September, 1974, five weeks old

deep in the hospital
an x-ray room
bone-cold
the intern straps
my tiny son
stripped to his diaper
into a plastic tube,
velcros it tight
around his chest
his skinny arms
forced high—
his screaming begins
leave now, I’m told

forty minutes alone
on a bench in the hall,
skewered
by his wailing, his howls
that pierced the door
I shiver, tears streaming—
I didn’t keep him safe
a revelation of mothering
I need to protect him
from doctors

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

enter at your own risk

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn Awakening, awe, consciousness, Daily reminders, loss, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, paradox, PoetryLeave a comment

enter at your own risk

did we agree
to slip into this world
wet with fluids of love?
it’s not safe, this plane—
all will be taken back
in time

in time, the one marvel
divided into many
that can sense
the interplay, though
the price we must pay
is our leaving

leaving what or where?
it’s all here—
the one become many
become one
the eternal parade
of change

change is the given
no point resisting
let’s rest in its river,
the pull of unknown,
give it up, let it go
float back home

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

this is how it is

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn Awakening, awe, Daily reminders, death, feelings, gratitude, loss, Love, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, paradox, Poetry, spirituality, suffering5 Comments

this is how it is

how strange to think
I’ve reached an age
of dying—
I would like it
to be different,
but this is how it is
friends, family
ill or failing,
taken, one by one—
since I don’t know
and can’t imagine
what is right or best
I hold for highest good

I wonder when
my time will come?
no chance to choose
I’d like to have a vast
and orchestrated plan
but as I age,
the more I see
there is no plan at all
each enigmatic moment
an opulent banquet—
I put my thoughts away
choose willingness
and dine on this—
unknown’s lavish spread

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

wither without

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn Daily reminders, gratitude, heart, loss, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, Poetry, spirituality, suffering4 Comments

wither without

the forests droop,
drought saps resilience—
close to home, bone-hard
ground bucks the shovel

I too, could wilt, cannot
thrive or survive without
a stream of gratitude
to water the heart
nourish my spirit
I awake before dawn
snug under covers
and thankful—
elder body still works
our sheltering home
my husband’s
bedrock kindness—
I send gratitude
outward, a cloudburst
of goodwill, prayers
and good wishes
for people I know

then wider still—hungry
children, depleted planet—
all will wither without
a torrent of gratitude

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

time chastens

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn Daily reminders, feelings, joy, loss, Love, Musings, pain, Poetry, sufferingLeave a comment

time chastens

ninety-four
a little stooped
yet I never heard
my mom complain
not once
no talk
of painful hands
or aching back
not in her lexicon—
buck up instead
no church
no faith
nor gratitude—
she shouldered on

I can’t deny
time’s humbling,
nor bear it all alone
instead, rely
on thankfulness
and friends
we share our woes
discomforts
and our joys
buck up be gone
solace and care
instead—
if only I could
have offered Mom
permission

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

losing

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn Awakening, awe, consciousness, Daily reminders, loss, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, Poetry, spirituality, Surrender2 Comments

losing

the art of losing isn’t hard to master—Elizabeth Bishop

we are losing,
leaving what we love,
so fundamental to
our being here—
how do we learn
to yield with grace?

we lose our youth
then our childhood dog
our innocence
all will go—
loss of dreams
first love

children grown
parents gone
friends picked off
then slow decline
relentless time
what isn’t hard to master?

dark of the night
lie in the field, allow
the canopy of stars
to soak you in
it all comes down to this—
surrender

beneath the losses
something rests
steady and bright
it can’t be found
cannot be touched
yet holds us all

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.

free fall

On By Amrita Skye BlaineIn awe, Breath, Daily reminders, heart, loss, Musings, Non-duality, nonduality, notes from self, Poetry, spirituality, suffering2 Comments

free fall

free fall into life
such a surprise
to arrive here
naked and wet
the shock of cold air
in new lungs
no longer one
with your mother
in salty, warm soup
but pushed out
cast out
into two—what
can we do but cry?

2023 ©Amrita Skye Blaine
I’m writing a poem a day. These are drafts—not final versions.