Prayer used to be a big part of my spiritual practice–a longing for the Beloved similar to what you’ll find in the poetry of Rumi.
In 2008, nine months after I was introduced to the non-dual teaching, prayer fell away, as did the concept I held of the Beloved. I remember sitting frozen in my recliner. My whole belief system had crumbled. This shift occurred abruptly one afternoon, and for a few months, I felt disillusioned and angry. I wanted to go back to the beliefs I used to hold–and discovered that wasn’t possible. Once I had seen through my own carefully constructed house of cards, I could not unsee.
Fast forward seven years. I was soaking in the hot tub one night last week, and discovered myself in prayer. This prayer was neither “to” something, nor “for” something, and it had no words. It felt like abiding in sacred openness.
© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2015
I do not know the source of this beautiful graphic. If anyone does, please contact me. I would like to credit it properly.
the heart of the matter 
SIgh. Ahh. Hot tub. Truth. Grace
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The same thing happened to me; my comforting belief system just sheered off about 15 years ago. It was shocking, yet quite refreshing at the same time. Makes much more room for the reality of truth as it unfolds!
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Thanks for sharing that! I haven’t spoken to anyone who had a similar experience. Yes, both shocking and refreshing. And I knew, right then, that beliefs weren’t coming back.
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I love this piece. Your description of all the old beliefs falling away and feeling bereft of them. I totally identify . . so glad prayer found its way back to you . .deeper, more sacred. I love the description “sacred openness” . .
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Thanks, Justine!
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A true atheist can happily embrace God.
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Thanks for commenting, Hariod. I went to your site today and like it very much.
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