finding it, losing it

finding it losing itMy introduction to the nondual teachings began with the 2008 Open Path training offered by Elias Amidon. During the nine-month program, the participants gather for four days at the beginning, middle, and end, and in between, there are pertinent readings and spacious phone calls.

One comment, often repeated by a few of the participants in the beginning, was “I had it, but I lost it.” When I queried them, they complained they were finding and losing pure awareness. I instinctively knew this was a misunderstanding, but didn’t have words to explain. I was, after all, just as new to these teachings are they were.

This morning, commuting to Rupert Spira’s retreat, a conversation with friends clarified this misapprehension from long ago. Pure awareness is always here and now, infinite and eternal. How could we lose what we are, what is prior to all manifestation? What comes and goes is the focus of our attention. When attention is narrowed to follow or find a thought or object, pure awareness appears veiled; it may feel as though we have lost “it.” When attention relaxes its focus and widens, we rest–in and as–awareness again. Knowingly.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2014
photo credit: fox following hound

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