There is nothing I enjoy more than discovering and seeing through beliefs or subtle thoughts of separation.
This has become play more than work, and the discoveries often show up as pure delight. Yesterday, seeing through the core of paradox was one of those moments.
In 2008, my belief in prayer was abruptly uprooted, and I felt its loss terribly. A way of life that seemed comfortable, that I thought I understood and knew how to control, was gone. The question kept arising, “Now how do I live?”
Today I discovered that in a subtle way, prayer still exists–but prayer is not offered from a small “I” to something outside of what I truly am. Instead, all of this life has become the unspoken offering–show, use, and refine this-that-I-am as a clear vessel. I’m humbled that I know nothing, and never will. Yet there is a delightful relaxation, too. I don’t need to know anything. If I am fully open and surrendered to listening, the endless, eternal present will provide what is required. Each erupting moment is a boundless unknown–this itty-bitty brain could never learn what is required to “manage” it. Supposing it could is a display of arrogance.
I feel as though my forehead is on the ground, and I’m eternally whispering “show me.” Show me the way now. And now. And now.
© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
2 thoughts on “uprooted”
Beside you dear Amrita, forehead to the ground. The eternal prayer is one of offering and gratitude. And this in spite of the impossibility of separation!
The path, the way is eternally shown as open, without agenda, ready for anything and everything. This includes the resistance to what is. If that seems like a paradox you know where that leads.
Love, all ways,
Sent from my iPad