listening to the moment

More and more, it becomes patently obvious that until the moment arrives to make a decision, I can’t possibly have all of the information required. Input shows up in the moment, and then it’s clear what to do. So why spend time worrying, obsessing, in mental gnashing?

I’ve been pondering whether to take my son for an experimental stroke treatment next week (airplane tickets already purchased) or first have him seen by an adult congenital cardiologist. That question has been sitting inside for a few days–and nights–ever since I learned on Tuesday that adults who had this particular heart surgery as young children are running into problems now that normal cardiologists are missing. A whole new specialty has been invented to address these challenges. Last evening, I received an email from a friend of my son’s, posing the exact same question but from a different angle.

The answer arrived in the moment that I read the email: delay the treatment, eat the airfare, and walk through the insurance steps to get him to the specialized cardiologist first. Of course, my adult son needed to make the choice–but when presented with the information– and why–even though he was very disappointed to delay the experimental treatment, he realized the solid common sense of waiting. As he said, “Mom, I think I’d better be safe than sorry.” I was relieved that he made that choice.

So now we move on, living and breathing in this very alive moment that perhaps it is not filled with what we wanted, but is filled with just what we need. I am very grateful tonight.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
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