All of our beliefs. All of our beliefs.
Once I committed to truthful self-examination–looking inward rather than outward–the breadth and depth of patterns that have arisen to be looked at has been stunning. It is as though life cooperates with the turn for home and methodically brings up every last piece of unfinished business to be met. As Rupert Spira says, this process never ends. Some of what has shown up has been acutely painful; some, more recently, is simply laughable. By the time one gets to be my age, it’s quite a massive knot to dismantle. Eventually, the process becomes more playful.
I avoided truly looking for years because I was terrified that I would be asked to give up the relationships and beliefs that I held most dear. It turns out that one doesn’t need to necessarily give them up–although we never know what will be asked of us–one only needs to give up the attachment to them.
Easier said than done. The image that comes to mind is unwinding a knotted skein of fine silk yarn. Sometimes hours of work are needed to eek a few inches of yarn, other times I can release a tangle and many feet spill free.
This work takes patience, courage, and self-kindness. A living guide can be enormous help–if they are deep, true, humble, and endlessly kind.
What remains? Life, living itself, simply, miraculously.
© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
photo credit: I wove for a couple of decades, and I wish I had photographed my own horrible yarn tangles–but I didn’t. So deep thanks to Knittin’ and Kittens.