Life has become a free fall into unknowing and letting go, every day unlearning something else. A random thought arises, and there! another belief is uncovered. I’m startled by how hidden and engrained they are. Within my mental judgments I find underlying beliefs, and they are often self-critical.
For example, I feel shame about this aging body–as though I could prevent inexorable gravity from happening! Passing by the mirror this morning, I spotted the wrinkles in my neck and stopped to really stare and glare at them. Then noticing, I chuckled. Examining the critical thought, I discovered the cultural belief that aging women are not as attractive as younger women. That belief shows up regularly–I’ve dropped it many times, and then find it hiding under yet another thought. It may continue to show up; it may fall away.
In free fall, one never knows. Unfolding in a stunning display of awareness–and not personal–the mind, body, and world are a constant, miraculous surprise.
© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2013
photo credit: Maria Sa’s blog