abiding in and as pain

I woke up Tuesday morning and before I even rolled over in bed, I knew that it would be a painful move. The mind wants to talk about this: what an inconvenient time for low back pain–just as we are launching a new business–or this isn’t fair, or… or… so the mind goes, with endless scenarios.

Instead of getting on the story train, I carefully rolled into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, blowing an exhale as I moved. Spasms rolled through my low back. A quiet assessment: time for anti-inflammatories, ice, Egoscue exercises, and moving with attentive care. I knew we were scheduled to go to an all-day 125th anniversary event for our real estate firm in San Francisco on Thursday which would involve a lot of standing and sitting on chairs that are not ergonomic. I would be better by then or not; Thursday morning I could decide whether I could or should attend.

Abiding. A kind of waiting-without-waiting, as Jean Klein has said. Resting as and in. Being with what is. Noticing the stories that arise but not running with them.

After weighing apparent pros (showing up and making contacts) and cons (discomfort), I did go to San Francisco.

It’s Sunday morning. The back is not much better. This time, although there is pain, there is not suffering–because I left the stories alone.
Acupuncture may be the next helpful step.

© Amrita Skye Blaine
image from: www.just.4ove.com

2 Comments

Filed under Musings

2 responses to “abiding in and as pain

  1. Mmm. The story train. Or, doing what needs to be done, deciding what needs now to be decided.

    And- why is the “Oh, this is like then” the first place we go, the “now I shall” has to be learned?

  2. I’m savoring your posts today, celebrating that my low back and shoulder are doing pretty good these days! Yup, no story, just dealing with what needs to be done right now. You are still my teacher!

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