My husband quipped that our life is riding a class 4 rapids right now. He wonders, as I do, if we will recognize ourselves on the other side.
First came the strong urge to downsize, starting in the fall of 2011. Then came a visit to Sonoma County, California, where we lived twenty years ago. It felt like home again… the golden, rolling hills and California live oaks; the chilly nights, with days in the delicious 60’s; dear friends that we’ve known for over thirty-five years, reconnections, and more.
In early January, a trip south for visiting old friends and house-hunting. After checking out ten homes and two co-housing communities, we returned to the very first home we had seen and decided to place an offer. Not love at first sight, but practically, it will work well; the location is convenient with a greenbelt one block away, and the yard has space enough for our big dogs.
Someone else had placed an offer only two hours before, so we placed a backup offer. Downsizing sped up. Two weeks of uncertainty. Learning to love ambiguity! They dropped out on Friday, and we are in official escrow as of this morning. We will be moving from 2350 square feet to 1350.
Sometimes it feels as though nothing is happening at all. Other times, it feels as though I’m moving at the speed of light. Mostly, my mind is at ease, even if life seems to be moving quickly. I’m pretty relaxed. It’s this weird game of life. Keep this, give away that. And that, and that. Pass along a painting that’s been in the family for eighty years to a friend who will dearly appreciate it. Give away a desk, extra office supplies. Return priority and express mail supplies to the post office. Mail off two successful Ebay sales. Refinish a cedar chest that my father made to give to my son, who will cherish it. Take the weight machine to the local used sports equipment sale and put it on consignment. Shred and shred and shred old papers.
Almost every person asks, “When are you moving?”
We have no idea. We’ll move when life moves us.
Awareness remains the same. Absolutely nothing going on, other than native openness to all. Always.
© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2012
6 thoughts on “class 4 rapids…”
“Do I pass through life? No it is life that passes through me.” Inayat Khan
That’s exactly how it feels, Wali.
Sounds amazing. I housesit for friends in Marin once or twice a year and visit old friends — maybe one day we’ll sit over a cup of coffee in Sonoma….
I’d love that! Or I could come to Marin! I lived there for 17 of the 22 years I spent in that area.
I lived in Corte Madera for almost 7years — actually had an apartment in the house I house/cat sit in. It’s been absorbed back into their house but the cat, who spent more of his kittenhood in my place than theirs likes me to be his caregiver. I’ll be there in May but dates aren’t sure yet, nor whether I’ll have a car. I’ll let you know more when I know more. Do you know Sonoma ashram? Lots of yoga classes at the ashram and my friends tell me they’re good. Or did you go to Spirit Rock when you lived there?
Hi–I lived in Marin/Sonoma for 22 years–including Strawberry, Mill Valley, San Rafael, Novato (ten years), Petaluma, Sebastopol. Did I say that already in a previous comment? Not sure! I was deeply involved with the Sufi community for 37 years–including being part of the teaching community, so I didn’t do much else. I knew about Spirit Rock, of course, but didn’t get there. No, didn’t know about Sonoma Ashram. I’ll check it out! If you don’t have a car, I’ll come down to meet you!