failure? or just what is?

The only way I can bear aerobic exercise on the elliptical trainer is to watch TV dramas while working out. Hospital programs like ER work best. I get completely caught up in the story, and time–with a healthily-raised heartbeat–passes.

Thought says that I should be satisfied listening to my breath, feeling my faster beating heart, noticing the sensation of perspiration rising on the skin. Thought says I’m a failure; even while taking care of my body, I make myself wrong. This pattern has been going on for the whole fifteen years we’ve been blessed with an elliptical trainer at home.

I call this “shoulding.” This body-mind is very good at shoulding.

So now there’s the observer watching the mind beat up on itself for tending the body. Wow. Of course this witness is just fine with it all–has no opinion or judgement, is simply “ising.” Being.

When I break this all apart, really all there is to do is giggle at the mind’s insanity. And giggle some more.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2012

3 thoughts on “failure? or just what is?

  1. I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one — I do all kinds of exercise with the TV on — or ride an exercise bike while reading. For me the only other choice is not to do it at all because I just won’t do it without the distraction from the boredom of exercise.


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