prodigal daughter turns for home

Most canals in Holland run in a straight line, dividing prop-
erties or fields of livestock. This canal caught my eye because it turned for home. I took the photo over ten years ago, knowing that it would find its place–but not knowing that would be here.

In thirty-seven years of spiritual practice I had not found what I yearned for. Clearly what I was “doing” wasn’t “working.” Three and a half years ago, like the canal, I turned for home. I discovered the non-dual teachings through Elias Amidon and the Open Path training. I remember the day that he first spoke of the direct path. We were sitting on a little cabin porch in Oregon enjoying the sunshine, and he said that the teachings were going to be offered in Holland beginning six months later. I knew–without a doubt–that I would find a way to be there. That moment was the turn for home, and the first, tiny taste of the unlearning that would be required–not by Elias, but by life.

The love of Truth asks for everything. I have nights–that’s when the mind’s snare is most powerful–when I wish the canal were straight, and headed somewhere, anywhere that I could understand. I can’t relax into sleep, so I bundle up in a down comforter in my recliner in the living room and sit with what is–the occasional dog snuffle or jerk; the gurgles of the humidifier, my slow breaths and beating heart.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2012

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Filed under Advaita, Musings, Non-duality, spirituality, thoughts

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