turned inward

The pull inward seems the only place to be. I want to be home–sorting, scanning shoe boxes and more shoe-boxes of photos, piling books into banker boxes to sell–reviewing a life. This activity is interspersed with reading non-dual offerings, sitting quietly, or talking with my husband. I’ve turned down invitations to parties with people I love. My heart just isn’t in it, and I must follow the pull.

Even though the content of the many thoughts is still to make people happy (as though that were possible!), to be polite, to be socially correct, I seem more able to step off the thought-train and follow what is true for me.

Frankly, I don’t recognize myself.

© Amrita Skye Blaine, 2012

6 Comments

Filed under Advaita, Musings, Non-duality, spirituality, thoughts

6 responses to “turned inward

  1. A friend sent me this link to bell chant and as I watched/listened thought you might like it: http://player.vimeo.com/video/6518109?autoplay=1

  2. Basheera

    I know that feeling of realizing I am free of all social conventions, if I choose to be. But I believe one needs to be cautious. It becomes very easy at that point to indulge one’s selfish instincts. Can you write about that?

  3. Basheera

    Hmmm. Maybe it’s just me then! If something comes up that I don’t really want to do, I watch a very interesting internal vacillation between the consideration that I SHOULD something and the knowing that “shoulds” really do not have a claim on me. Mostly I move with the social conventions. If there is a sense of unwillingness I examine it and remind myself that a) I am always in Pure Awareness no matter what I am doing so what does it matter what I am doing? and b) if I don’t want to do something it’s likely because I have a pre-conceived notion of what it will be like. I actually have NO IDEA what will happen. Poof! Back to the mystery!

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