Okay, you’ve had a thought. Can you “find” it now? Is it possible to see its birthing place, or control its coming into being? It was quite startling when I discovered that not only did I have no control over my thoughts, I also could not find the thought or where it came from. I was not able to control when or where thoughts went, either. Poof!—and they are gone. A similar thought may arise, but it is not the same thought. It is a completely fresh happening.
So if I can neither find thoughts, nor control them, what happens to the belief that they are “mine”? After looking repeatedly—direct experience is always the best test for me—that particular belief fell away. Thoughts are not personal. They happen on their own, independent of any effort on my part.
Understanding this has changed my relationship to thought permanently. It is much easier to ignore the individual thoughts and watch the overall dance, instead—relative quiet, then a flurry of activity, troughs and waves. Right now, a flurry of thoughts is flickering in and out—a lot like lightening bugs on a Midwest summer evening—a thought-train that questions whether I will find more words to put on this page. I could get involved; the train is enticing, for sure—but I can also be disinterested—notice it, but look beyond, or upstream, into the nothing from whence it came. From whence you and I came. The reliable, unchanging source. There I can truly rest.
© Skye Blaine, 2011